Loud arguments, hostile exchanges and – perhaps worse – silent tension. When a marriage isn’t working anymore, the impact on everyone in the house, including children, can be extremely stressful. So, is it really best to stay together for the kids?
What you remember about your childhood friends’ struggle through a parents’ divorce can impact your level of anxiety about an impending divorce. Even more so, your own experience when your mom and dad split up can make you feel as if you are hurting your kids if you end the marriage. Then there are the studies that show clear data on the negative effects on children, making you feel even guiltier than you thought possible. For example, one study found that divorce can make a child more susceptible to becoming sick from viruses such as the common cold. In the study, children whose parents had a contentious relationship post-separation were more than three times as likely to catch a cold as the children whose parents remained together.
Divorce Doesn’t Have To Have Negative Effects On Your Kids
Is there is a way to lessen the negative effects of divorce on children? Research has shown that it can depend on the way you and your ex handle yourselves in your relationship post-divorce. Consider this – in the same study mentioned earlier, kids whose parents had a respectable relationship post-divorce were as healthy as the ones whose parents stayed married. Many would agree that piece of information is worthy to note, especially because numerous kids are growing up with divorced parents.
Five Tips To Co-Parent Without Fighting
How do you foster a good relationship with a former spouse, especially when you are hurt and angry from what happened in your marriage? These five co-parenting tips from a recent article can make an immense difference. Here is a rundown of the author’s suggestions:
- Seek out a mediator to get involved.
- Keep the focus on the kids.
- Compartmentalize your anger toward your spouse when dealing with issues involving the children. If you can’t move past the hostility, get help to do so.
- Focus on a future of peace and happiness. Don’t live in the past.
- Don’t see an ex’s new partner as an enemy, but part of your child’s village of care.
Divorce doesn’t have to result in disaster for your kids. If there is continuous fighting and other instability at home, they may even be better off if you and your spouse would be happier if you were not together. Keep these tips in mind, and you can be in control of a better future for everyone.